Friday, September 22, 2006

Fuel Filter

Changing the fuel filter on a well maintained Saab is a simple job. Just ask the people who wrote the instructions for my Haynes manual.
  1. Clean the area around the fuel line connections on the filter then undo the union bolts. Use a second spanner on the filter body hexagons to prevent the filter from twisting. Lift away the fuel lines and remove the filter.

  2. Fit the new filter with the arrow pointing in the direction of fuel flow and reconnect the fuel lines. Wipe away any spilled fuel from around the filter.
Sound easy enough? The only problem is that they left out some of the steps that really happened.
  1. Block front wheels to keep from rolling down the driveway. If nothing else is available, use the decorative gardening slabs by the side of the house.

  2. Jack up the car and set on jack stands. Be sure to raise car at least five feet off the ground to ensure enough room to work.

  3. Brush your right arm against any rusty parts and place flecks under lower eyelid. Blinking rapidly may increase the discomfort.

  4. Run inside the house and ask your wife to remove rust flecks.

  5. Rinse eye out with old Nyquil cup full of warm water.

  6. Crawl back under the car while two neighbor kids tell you what they did in school today.

  7. Stare at rusty filter and wonder if it is the original from 18 years ago.

  8. Tell your wife to start supper without you.

  9. Wrap arms around axle like a contortionist while pulling with a wrench and ratchet for fifteen minutes.

  10. Go inside and convince your wife that it would be better to take it to a mechanic. After all, I'm not as strong as I used to be.

No comments: